Reflections on old age

My world is shrinking.

This middle age thing

is

some thing special

I wake up most days

And

before I sit up

too quickly

Like I used too

When everything worked

I start sitting up

gingerly

Hoping

No praying

That I haven't left any body parts on the pillow

That I haven't swallowed any

of my loose teeth in my sleep

I try to reassure myself

that I am really waking up in my bed

And not in some alternative universe

Like heaven for instance

Middle age

Every thing is moving so fast now

I have trouble crossing the street

The cars move quicker now

I think

In any case

I have no idea what kind of cars they are

any way

I used to know car's

GTO,chevys

What happened

That's the quote

of most of my days

What happened

Young people talk to me now

and they sound like roaches

Or insects

buzzing around in my head

I have no idea what they are talking about

Less information

Is getting in

and I am glad for that

I am tired all the time

I nap on the bus

On the train

What happened

In my car

I drool

I Snore

My stomach make noises

That I am convinced no

Human being can make

Some times

I talk to it

Thinking I might have a alien

Growing inside me

And if I am not in my bed

I wake up from a nap fitfully

Shaking myself alive

And the world

and its folly's

Bore me now

News of death and mayhem

Just causes me to click my tongues

And mutter some thing like old lord

As my mind wanders on to the next subject

Usually

Its about where I left my glasses

Or my pipe

Or my keys

Or my mind

What's happening

The world is self destructing

And we have a black man as president

Perhaps I didn't really wake up today at all

Perhaps I am still sleeping

But it's a good dream for once

In the old days nightmares

would wake me up

Almost screaming

Now they come

And they are warm and cozy things

If I can still feel fear

I am still alive

The real world scares me more

Wondering if and when

I will wind up eating cat food

Will it be tainted by some

Chinese additive

Buy American that's my motto

Damn I cant even be reassured

by my misery anymore

its moving too fast

what happened

what happened

I have problems crossing the street

Fast moving traffic

Confuses me

And the cap off is

That the last time it snowed

I did my usual falling thing

I know you shouldn't wear

Sneakers in the snow

But my damn feet hurt

Anyway

The last time I feel

I was waking in the street

Slipped feel flat on my back

Right in the middle of the street

Their was no traffic

So I just refused to get up

No I wasn't hurt

I just didn't care

It was warm and cozy laying in the street

Looking at the sky for the first time in years

I finally got up

Looking behind me for lost body parts

And didn't come out again

Until the sun was melting that shit

Old age

Golden years my ass

I used to dream of building a shack by the railroad tracks

Covering it with bottle caps

Or some refuse and whiling my time

Away making art

And talking to other vagrants

That's a fantasy now

With this economy

I am not ever sure

If their will be any land available

Anyway more

Ok I cant write long

My wrist is cramping

My arm is tired and I cant stop

Looking at a fly that has landed on my

Monitor

Told you the focus is gone

Staring off into space

Is now

the old order of the day

Hopefully every thing will be there when

I awaken

And if not

So what………………