The art of Kevin Blythe Sampson

THE ART OF
KEVIN BLYTHE SAMPSON

4/26/09

http://diehipster.com/

exerpts from a place to laugh at hipsters

http://diehipster.com/

Good morning you ar now a artist

I wonder if the hipster can remember the actual day they became "artists". I imagine they rolled out of bed and simply said "hey look at me I'm an artist". Or was it the first day of liberal art school? Or the day they graduated? Or immediately after the pilot said "you may now unfasten your seatbelts" as their plane flew in from the West and landed in NYC. When? When tell me!?!? Look at these video's of the most childish art you've ever seen. At the hipsters explaining how they are part of the "community". You'll see pieces like "Musical Chair", which is a camera pointed at a chair. Or "The Time Machine" which is a VCR tape wrapped around the walls of this wanna-be gallery. Or dust particles on a projector. Or water vibrating.
You fucking call this shit art? I swear, I want to go undercover as a hipster and smear my shit on a canvas and then hang it in some bullshit gallery full of spoiled fucksters and say "like, yah, like yah, this like, represents the food I like ate yesterday, and now like, you can see it the next day in another form, yah." These fucks wouldn't even flinch and I would probably receive a toast of organic wine for my "hard" work. You filthy, gentrifying, clueless, pseudo rats must end your embarrassing lives immediately. GET-THE-FUCK-OUT-OF-HERE-ALREADY!

 

Hipster shows MTA his MacBook Skills.


A liberal arts degree. An all expense paid trip to Brooklyn, New York. A Mac, and a good community vibe is all you need to show the MTA how frustrated you are with two VERY IMPORTANT subway lines. I don't mean very important to the plain folk. I mean very important to the "creative type" hipsters who need these subway lines to travel through the land of make believe neighborhoods they think they've created.  There's very few of them, I doubt you've ever seen one. If you saw two that looked similar, don't worry, you're not going crazy. Those are two verrrrrrry different people with very distinct talents and  pseudo-intellectualism.
Ok, this is funny for two seconds only because it looks like a real MTA sign. Then after reading you begin to realize it's coming from a finger painting, bearded, gentrifying, cocksucking stick figure, hipster. You don't think the D, F, N, B, Q have their troubles? You don't think people that live in Manhattan or The Bronx or Queens have subway problems?  It just shows how fucking transplanted this person is. As for me, subway delays are the least of my problems. If you've been riding them your whole life becuase you grew up here, you're used to it. The people that constantly complain about the G and the L only ride during off peak hipster hours. They've been riding the subway anywhere from 6 months to 5 years. They complain about the crowds, the homeless, the rats and being late to their part time dime a dozen creative jobs??? They complain because they can't leave their overpriced apartment or "creative artistic affordable loft" which will soon be a condo, at 10pm on a Tuesday to go to a bullshit art or music show and come home at 4am and expect the trains to be waiting at their Converse All-Star feet??? Every train screws somebody everyday. Big deal. You spoiled, cul-de-sac, pseudo-urban, talentless phonies better hit the road. You simply just can't hang. Get the fuck out of Brooklyn and go show your homestate that art and laid-backism is the road to coolness. Fuckers!

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The Organic Myth


Hipsters are so easily marketed to. The hipster is so distracted with keeping up with the latest tight clothes and achieving bed head hair-do's that big produce/meat companies have easily tricked them into paying double the price for food right under their noses or above their moustaches. Their [hipsters] biggest claim to fame is being non-conformist, yet they continuously conform without even knowing it. I remember seeing supermarkets dedicating a very small amount of shelf space to organic products years ago. Now there are dedicated chain stores that pretty much only push organic like Whole Foods, etc. What a fucking scam! This organic food is so overpriced. I mean, it's so obvious that even hipsters have to know that it's a scam by now yet they keep on buying and promoting it to stay cool. Thousands of them eating organic just to be part of a crowd in Brooklyn and many other places. Without even reading the links below, I always looked at organic food as a scam. After reading the links, you'll see facts such as it takes twice as much land to grow organic produce and that their pesticides and chemicals are "organic" but you need 6 or 7 times as much to do the job which raises the costs. There is no difference in taste. The same giant companies that sell conventional meat and produce are the ones who sell the organic shit. Yet the hipster will still go to Whole Foods and spend $40.00 for a bag of produce that really costs $10.00.  The one thing the transplanted hipster is really good at is being ripped off whether it be rent, clothes or food. Pretty much the basics and necessities which used to be affordable in our great city. Thanks a lot you filthy douchebag hipsters. Here are the links:
Skeptoid: Organic Myths
Google Search: Organic Food Myths

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