The story of a journey into the world of crack or How she found God

Stories from the heartland

A womans journey from drugs to redemption

Living Just enough for the city

We all used

too much

in my youth.

It was the 1980’s after all

And when disco came crashing down

Those who grew up

Walked away

The rest stayed

And died

And changed into the things

And the people

Those stories are made of

If you weren’t drinking

Too much

Which I was

You were drugging

This is the story of my wife’s best friend

And one of the most beautiful woman and people I know

It’s about Lola

But first let me set the tone for this tale

Which happens to be totally true

When the drug crack hit

Lula was one of the first causalities

First coke, then P dope then crack

I lost three good friends to crack and many more who survived it

But were some how changed

In any case

Crack Destroyed many parts of the country

But it was exceptionally brutal

In Newark New Jersey

And the surrounding towns

Lola started using in the 1070’s

Socially

But then came the 80’s

And Lola just kept on using

Until it consumed her

She finally just did a Kane from kung Fu

And walked……………… on

She went missing

I was a cop, so my wife sent me looking for her.

She had left her three kids and was lost in Newark

Newark used to be a place where people come to hide

And some times to die

Their were parts of Newark that even me

The Gran Pulbah

Couldn’t go into

Without a army

People knew this

Let’s just call it the

New jack city thing

Ok

Lola was out in the streets full time now

All of us lost track of her, we searched and searched, but she was underground in Newark New Jersey.

And if you don’t want to be found in a large city

It’s not too hard to hide

Lola was one of the most beautiful creatures, the good lord ever created. She was dark chocolate, like the night and was perfectly built with Tina tuner legs

She always wore a short cropped afro with good loop earrings

Like Benda sikes

She was Pam Grier and Nina Simone, All rolled up into one. She had a real husky voice and could sing with the depth and feeling of a holiday

We used to hit all the discos together Lola, My wife Pam and the rest of my entourage of like six lovely ladies’. Their was many a night that I had to almost fight to get some Bum away from Lola, But it was cool to be 19 year old armed with a big ego and a big gun and badge.

God could Lola dance

She was from Newark, but her family lived in Westfield

So she had the Newark mother wit and a Westfield NJ, Good education all rolled into one.

I can’t say enough to describe what a special person she was.

Anyway

After Lola ran away. To do her drugs.

Life wasn’t quite the same. Most of us had gotten married, brought houses

And settled down.

But let me tell you, No matter where my wife and I went

We always kept an eye peeled out for Lola

But By now the state had moved in, to take Lola’s three kids

But some thing real interesting happened

Lola's boyfriend who I can only describe as a cad. Stepped up

He was a ex pimp, a drug dealer and he abused woman

People places and things

But some thing happened to him after Lola left

He grew up and He stayed with her kids the whole time Lula was out there.

He then proceeded to love them raise them right and most of all as his own,

What a change in a person. This man that I couldn’t stand

This man that I had punched on a few occasions

Had turned into a righteous man

And a good father to boot

This act of giving changed him and brought him to god

Anyway years later

14 or there about

I was in a store in Elizabeth

My wife had died a year before, but I still often thought of Lula.

I was buying a soda in a store that I hadn’t stopped in

For years.

Something

Some thing

Made me look up

And I saw the most beautiful smile that I had seen in years

I looked up and saw Lola; she had that same beautiful face

Same stunning smile

We ran to each other, two chubby black people

Laughing and kissing and hugging and crying

In the middle of a store

As every one looked on

Who cares?

Thanks you Jesus

Lola

We used to dance together

She and I

Teddy Pendergrass, Stevie

David Bowie

You name it

Donna summer

Last dance

I feel love

Whew

Anyway

Lola lived just a short walk away from the store

So she pulled me along to go see some one

She lived right around the corner

And I followed her home

I met Kevin her now husband and deacon in the church

I saw the twin girls that I had held as a child

All grown up and pretty

And I saw that Lolas new baby just a year old

Kevin’s baby

And they were in love and so happy

I cried the tears of joy only a fat man can cry

Then she sat me down

In front of her kids

And told me what had happened to her

My wife had died a year before this meeting

And she took it very very hard

My wife never got to see Lula again

And she regretted to the day she died

Anyway

Grits and dance baby

But then she told me of how she got off drugs

Her face got serious

And her kids went to make coffee

He husband sat down

She told me that one snowy night

In the city of Newark

That she was out hooking and three drug dealers

In a fancy car picked her up

She was not high she was shaking tired

But lola needed some drugs

These three pigs

Drove here around in circles

For a hour laughing and drinking

And treating her like she wasn’t there

When she spoke she smacked the back of her head

And told her to shut up

My blood was boiling at this point

But her husband grabbed my hand

I realized that he was praying

Lula went on

They rode her round and around

Lula knew before she got in this car

That she was going to die

She got into this car to die

Every whore knew that prostitutes were being found dead

All over the place

But Lula

Didn’t care

She knew every thing

And didn’t care

She said that when you look for death

When you call out to it

It’s not hard to find

She said that she never felt so peaceful

Anyway

The guy behind her grabbed her by the coat

And put a knife up to her throat

They all began taunting her

Telling her they were going to kill her

In her head she was saying

You can’t get blood from a stone

You can’t kill what is already dead

Sun Tzu

No Newark whore

Anyway

It was winter and Lula had a big old leather coat on

A strong old coat

When I think of these men who poison

Communities I realize why I remained a cop so so long

Anyway

Suddenly

Lulu said that a little voice started strumming in her head

And it got louder and louder

First whispering

Then yelling out

Live

Live

You got to live

And then

She saw the face of her mother

and each of the faces of the children she left behind

in turn

she Saw her life

And what she had become

Live live

A mother's love Called out from a soul

that she thought that she no longer had

She said that she sat up

And got a dose of super human strength

She actually tore the coat from the guys hand

Pushed the knife from her throat

She said she almost broke the guy’s arm that was holding her

She then pulled a charlies angel

And opened the car door

And rolled out the door of the slow moving car into the snow

Live live

This was a battered woman

A crack head

Who never ate

Who never slept

Who just sold sex for money and crack

But she got live

Live

This is a woman who she couldn’t look in the mirror

Had no idea of what she looked like

Lula believes that crack is a master plan

Put out by the government

That the government gave crack to the city

To subdue it

Lola rolled from this car

And started screaming

And running

The guys in the car drove after her

Finally Lula came to a fenced in yard of a gas station

But she was too weak to climb over the fence

The guys in the car

Used the car to ram her

They struck her hitting her in the legs

But the fence gave in and although

She broke both legs

She lived

And people came out

And the cops came

And Lula went to rehab

And Lula found god that night

And returned home to her family

Found the bastard that she had left

Turned into one of the finest men a woman could have

He saved renewed and restored her family

All of her kids had been to good schools

Lola says her legs still hurt

And those Tina turner legs

Which she still likes to show

Have a few scars on them

She has pain went she says she loves

Because this pain reminds her every day

Of her life

And of her joy

By the time Lula was done with her story

Her husband was still holding my hand

But now he was praying

Praying

And her kids came around and we got in a circle

And we prayed together

the old way

the pentacostal way

chanting,

to those looking in it would look

more like a ceramony

and i guess it was

we prayed

Prayed for my wife who wasnt here

Prayed for the hard times we all had had

Prayed for the joy of discovery

Of God and each other

And then

And then

Her daughter went over to a music box

And she put on a song

And

You know what that song was

Donna summers Last dance

And Lula grabbed my hand

And these two old fat and happy Negroes

Danced

Danced away the pain

Danced up and joy

Called up ancestors to let them join In

and in the light of this love

And music

We were cleansed

We were renewed

healed

Kevin and I just looked at each other and laughed

I felt like it was a scene from the television show

Good times

We needed JJ to give us out benediction

Dynamite

I kissed every one and got ready to leave

Then I looked at Lula one more time

Yea she had put on weight

But she was never

Never more beautiful to me